Play your cards right and let mystery work in your favour.

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For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a conversationalist. If you put me in a room where I don’t know anyone, I’ll find someone to talk to. If there’s an awkward silence, I’ll be the one to break it …

Having this level of comfort when it comes to talking has definitely worked in my favour. It’s allowed me to make friends easily, succeed at work and push myself where others wouldn’t.

And while I appreciate my natural ability to start a conversation, at times, it’s also put me in situations I could have easily avoided. …

#2 — Have an unconditional relationship.

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The beginning of a relationship is particularly exciting. The situation is new, and there’s always something to enjoy with your significant other. Yet, somewhere along the way, we begin to get comfortable. And shortly thereafter things can get a little boring.

Now, don’t fret — this happens to the best of us. Yet, just because it happens, it doesn’t mean we can’t make things exciting. Because with the right mindsets and a little work, we can reignite those sparks to keep our relationship thriving.

So, if you want to reinvigorate your relationship. Well, keep reading …

Focus on yourself first

Building discipline is like growing a muscle.

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You’ve probably woken up early before, which can be hard if you’re not used to it. But if you have a deadline or flight to catch, you can usually muster enough willpower to do it. What’s difficult is doing it every day, especially if you go to bed late. On the first day, you might snooze the alarm twice, the second maybe three times, and by day four you haven’t set an alarm, because let me guess … you’re not a morning person.

When it comes to self-discipline most use this same approach, where they try to change their behaviour…

Regardless of their popularity, it’s imperative you learn these.

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If you’ve ever reflected on choices you’ve made in the past, chances are you would have done some things differently. Yet, part of life is that we’re constantly learning, both from our own and others experiences.

And while there are countless lessons we each learn, there are a select few which are rarely discussed but are of extreme significance. Once learnt, these lessons have the ability to drastically alter one’s life — to help you better navigate the world, and make better decisions.

So, what are these lessons? Well, let’s take a look at them …

How you speak to…

While sobriety is a remarkable decision, it’s still considered taboo.

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Committing to sobriety was an easy decision for me. By that point, I’d taken a year-long break from alcohol, and the few times I drank after only served to support my decision. However, where it became difficult was during social situations. Because, although sobriety is a remarkable thing, it’s still considered to be somewhat taboo.

If you don’t believe me, go to a party and tell people you don’t drink. Chances are you will be looked at like you’re crazy. Yet, tell someone about the stupid drunk decisions you’ve made, and they’ll laugh it off as just a bit of…

Don’t compare your life to someone’s highlight reel.

Enjoying my travels without sharing them on Instagram.

Deleting Instagram was what it took for me to realise that I was living a lie.

Until that point, I thought it was normal to spend countless hours scrolling the newsfeed. That it was natural to look at social media and want to fix something about myself. At the time, I’d confused inspiration with comparison.

Leading up to this, I’d pondered deleting my account. However, I’d only get so far as deactivating it — usually restoring it within a week. …

You are where you are because of your standards.

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Raise your standards.

That’s the advice I received as I asked my boyfriend what I could do to remain happy and fulfilled on a more consistent basis.

As I continued to complain, he stopped me and said —

Look, it doesn’t matter how many excuses you make, at the end of the day everything in your life is your responsibility. No matter the cards that you are dealt, it’s up to you whether you allow yourself to be a victim or a victor. …

The best revenge is massive success … Or is it?

Throughout life, it’s likely that at some point, you will feel as though you have been wronged. And in processing that experience, you might hope that one day you can take revenge on those who wronged you by becoming wildly successful.

That way, you could prove to others just how great and worthy you are, and you could also show those who ever doubted you that they were erroneous in doing so. Because as Frank Sinatra so eloquently put it … The best revenge is massive success. Or is it?

Photo by Averie Woodard on Unsplash

For many years this mindset was one that fuelled my…

As they say … It’s not you, it’s me.

My first drink after a year without alcohol.

Dear Alcohol,

We’ve had a strong run since we first met when I was sixteen. All of which was turned on its head, during my year of not drinking. While this may seem like it was an obvious next step, it was a hard decision to make. Mostly, because you were a safety net for me.

After our one year break, I still hesitated to end our relationship entirely. You were in the back of my head, promising a fun time and a boost in my self-esteem. …

I never allow myself to have an opinion on anything that I don’t know the other side’s argument better than they do. — Charlie Munger

Photo by Ana Itonishvili on Unsplash

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been open to opposing ideas. So much so that even during arguments I’ve found myself both agreeing with my position alongside the other persons.

Previously, I viewed this as contradictory. That because I didn’t conform to one idea, I must have been a hypocrite or someone whose judgement was unsubstantiated. Yet, when I stumbled upon the following quote by Charlie Munger, I instead came to view what most would call hypocritical as instead being a positive thing.

I never allow myself to have an opinion on anything that I don’t know…

Tahlia Asinate

Writings on self-love, sobriety & personal development —

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